My Imaginary Car

I need new tyres for the Mazdabator. The ones I currently have are incredibly noisy due to being scalloped. Yes, you can hear them over the stereo (which is saying something, considering the volume I have it at). Of course, before I get new tyres I have to replace all four shock absorbers because they are all badly worn, and the rear shockies are leaking. Mr Rudd has kindly offered to pay for new shockies and tyres (Thanks, Kev!) - all I have to do is buy them.

Herein lies the problem. It seems there is a persistent theory amongst suppliers of after market vehicle parts that my car simply does not exist. It is a theory that appears to be supported by my extensive research on the internet.

Let me explain. When we first bought my car I wanted to order a dashmat and some weather shields. Now, according to the compliance plate on the firewall of my car, I have a Mazda 323K, BG model, paint colour 11R (Sparkle Green), built in September 1995. You'd think that would be sufficient information, wouldn't you? I don't know what the "K" stands for in 323K, but I've found absolutely no information about this anywhere, so this just adds to the mystery.

Well, off I went to Supercheap, Autobarn, etc, etc to try to order a dashmat. I wasn't expecting to find one in stock since my car is more than 10 years old, but I did think I'd be able to order one. Apparently not. After checking various catalogues it seemed like the manufacturers stopped making dashmats to fit BGs in 1994 and the only ones they made for 1995 were to fit the Astina (hatchback version of the 323, which has a completely different interior) and Protege (the top-of-the-range version of my car) models. I ended up getting one through GrandPrix Mazda at a higher price... when it arrived it turned out to be for a 1994 model (!) but at least it fits! Same deal with the weather shields, however Stoneshield (who actually manufacture them) assured me the ones for the Protege would fit because it is the same body shape, so the doors would be the same.

Now all the info I can find says that the Protege had a 1.8 lt engine (and maybe had electric windows, being the "flash" model), so clearly mine is a standard 323 because it only has the 1.6 lt engine. Then again, apparently Mazda had something like a dozen different models available globally, all with slight variations, so who knows for sure?

Back to the shockies. Pedders want $424 for the front pair and $424 for the rear pair, plus an extra $300 in labour to fit them. Um... no thanks! There must be a better price out there! So we ring around. Repco sell Monroe shocks and Autobarn sell some American brand I'd never heard of... but not to fit my car! You guessed it - the same old story! It doesn't exist.

Conversation goes something like this: "Hi, I'm after a price on shockies for my Mazda 323" "What model and year is that for?" "It's a 1995 BG model" (pause, while they search for the details in their parts catalogue...) "Was that for an Astina?" "No, just the 323" "Not a Protege?" "No" "Well, the BG model wasn't manufactured after 1994, are you sure it isn't a BA?" "It says BG on the compliance plate" "Well, if it's 1995 it can't be. Are you sure it isn't a 94 model?" "I'm sure, never mind"

In desperation I go to GrandPrix Mazda and do my best "dumb blonde / female driver" impersonation. Well, not really, but I'm positive that's what they think. I hover between the Parts and Service counters. "Hi, I'm not quite sure if this is a parts or a service query... I want to know exactly what model I'm driving." (Condescending looks.) "I know it says it's a 323K BG, built in Sep 95, but if I give you my VIN can you please double check that, because I'm having a hard time locating parts for it" The same guy who ordered my dashmat looks up and says "You again, what's wrong this time?" "Well Paul, apparently my car still doesn't exist" He chuckles. I'm so glad to have brightened his day. Really I am.

Turns out that the BG was produced from 1991 through to May 1996, so all these after market parts databases are wrong! He says I should tell them that Paul from GrandPrix says they are "boofheads" if they want to argue. I can, and do have, a BG. Knowing I'm right doesn't help with ordering parts, though. Paul says to tell them I've got a 95 Protege. "But it's only a 1.6 and I thought Protege's all had the 1.8 ?" Apparently not all of them. "It doesn't actually say Protege anywhere on it..." He can sell me a Protege badge for $3, if I'd like. No, that's ok.

Hmmm. I'm still not entirely convinced my car is not a figment of my imagination, but at least it will now (hopefully) be easier to order parts. I still don't know what the K means...


ps. Have found a better price - Ultima shocks, Aussie made, $250 for front pair, $250 for rear pair... and the plan is to replace them ourselves to save labour costs. Have the right tools (including a set of spring compressors)... just need a workshop manual!